Lessons learned: Through the eyes of a Moroccan family

The other night I had an interesting experience, but it wasn't the kind of experience that was dangerous or exciting or anything. It was the kind of experience that makes you kinda feel good about what's happened in your life, as well as open you up to how much the world is still in need of those who care to help out their fellow man.

So, about 6pm last night, a women friend of my counterpart comes to me and says that she wants me to help out her friend's daughter. This is all in Arabic, so my understanding of the situation was 25% at best. However, because I knew my counterpart and had worked with the woman friend of his, I went along with it. This lady told me that she would return at about 7pm with her friend so that she could meet with me and talk with me about her daughter Ghrita (aka Rita).

The mother of Rita picked me up in a car and drove me to her apartment just west of Marrakesh. The mother of Rita spoke about as good english as I do derija so I gained alittle more knowledge about how and why I was now driving with her towards her apartment. Once arriving to her home, I was greeting by three girls (one was 6yrs, one was 12yrs, and one was 15yrs). Another 20 minutes past and I was still without a clue as to why I was there. I spoke to the 15yr old girl, Rita, (who speaks pretty good english) about these "problems" that she has and how I can assist her. Eventually, Rita started to talk about the fact that she was 6'0'' and that she felt awkward at school being the tallest. Then we spoke about her love for JLo (Jennifer Lopez) and Justin Timberlake, and America in general. These were typical teenage topics and I still was really uncertaint as to why I was here. I began thinking that I was here for some sort of marriage setup or something of that nature. Another 30 mins pass, and Brahm Stoker's Dracula came on, so I decided to stay for dinner and enjoy the American film.

Then in comes four more women into the house, so now we're looking at eight women in this tiny apartment and myself. At this point, I'm sure that I'm here for the reason surrounding marriage. I began doing the math... (Single American guy + 15yr old Moroccan girl + She speaks english + many women here = had to equal marriage talks) But then, one girl, started talking to me in perfect english and began explaining the reasons why I was "really" brought there...

Aparently, the 15yr girl Rita, was out of school and she had formerly been enrolled at the "American School of Morocco". At this school, they teach entirely in english and have the same standards (if not better) than most of the public schools back in the states. This explains where and why Rita was so familar with the english language. The girl continued to explain to me that Rita was out of school because she could no longer afford to be there. Just as in the states, private schools such as this American School of Morocco, cost an arm and a leg for Moroccans to be enrolled in it. This particular school is a very prestigious school and is well received in Britian, America, Australia, Canada, etc.

The reason why Rita was out of school is because her father and mother recently got a divorce, due to infidelity as her father ran away with a prostitute from Marrakesh. Just a year ago, the entire family was living amoung one of the more well-to-do parts of Marrakesh and money was not a problem. After the father up and left, he never returned to the family he created of three beautiful girls and a wife (typical story that we're all familiar with).

Looking into solutions, Rita's mother spoke with the Head-Master of the American School of Morocco and asked if there was anyway for her daughter to get a scholarship or find someone that could help her pay for this school's cost. The Head-Master found a local (anonymous) donor that helped Rita these past 6 months. Unfortunately, that source of income has now dried up and so Rita is once again in trouble of missing out on her high-school years. Rita is beginning to lose motivation and her mother is beginning to think of out-landish ideas to help Rita continue her studies. Her mother, like me, understand that if she stops learning now than the posibilities of her future could be limited. Coming from a mother, she told me, that it's not about her own feelings, it's all about her daughters and their futures, she continued, "I could care less about anything else!!"...(words I've heard from many women caught up in the struggle of continuing after a divorce).

My first thought was that Rita should just go to one of the fully-funded public schools available throughout Marrakesh. This (to me) seemed like a perfectly sound solution, but here's the problem... because Rita has been in this American School so long now, she doesn't understand Arabic script and writings. And being that the ciriculum at these public schools are either spoken in Arabic or written in it, she'll continue to fall behind.

As with most household issues (domestic and international), there's an issue with the lack of funds support it's growth. And unfortunately, their aren't any organizations here in Morocco for families of divorcees, and/or proper laws protecting the rights of broken households and the effects that might take place. The mother of Rita is currently un-employed due to the inappropriate actions of the men at her work and so she had to quit (you can paint in the picture yourself there). As I began to peel back the onion, the problems just continued to piling up.

I told their family that the only thing I can do is explore ways to find them help, since I myself don't have the means or don't know others throughout Morocco that can help her. Going forward, I am planning to send a letter to the US Ambassador of Morocco's wife, who (I believe) works to help empower women's rights. I am in the process of working with this family to get all the finances, divorce papers, etc needed to build a case for their situation. As I began to break down the numbers in US dollars, I realized that only $15 dollars a day will help Rita remain in school for the next 6 months. Or in other words...about $2000 for 6 months. In addition to this, I told them that I would look into finding any sort of high-school exchange programs, but I doubt this will work because it's really about the relationship between the two schools and there isn't any in Morocco that I know of.

I am offering my words of encouragement, along with the personal stories of overcoming the odds, but that can only last so long. So, as of right now, all I can do is spread the word of their issues, in hopes that someone (or even better) some group of women with similar experiences, can assist them in this time of need. If you or any group of yours is in touch with those willing to lend a helping hand (whether that be domestically or internationally), or if you have any suggestions for me going forward, please let me know. I personally don't want to get too wrapped up in this issue, but it's hard to just sit back and do nothing. I see in them the parallels that existed in my own family (from the former years), along with so many other families throughout America with their exact same challenges.

At the same time all of this is happening, and I am constantly reminded of the struggles my own mother went through to raise her three beautiful children after the divorce happened when I was only three years old. I am blessed everyday, knowing that my being here in Morocco and sharing in all these experiences thus far, have much to do (if not everything) with my Mom's perserverence, faith, sacrafice, and willingness to keep moving through those hard times. I thank you Mom for being there for me and my siblings, even though we couldn't fully understand or appreciate it until now.